Guilt
by tehsecretardor
Summary: Like all the others, Elie is overjoyed that the one she loves has come back to them. But, unlike the others, she also feels one other emotion…one that just might consume her. Takes place after the final chapter, Haru/Elie.


Guilt

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Summary: Like all the others, Elie is overjoyed that the one she loves has come back to them. But, unlike the others, she also feels one other emotion…one that just might consume her. [After the final chapter, Haru/Elie].

~x~

Author's Note: There is a good reason I'm writing this. But, it's something I'd rather keep personal. Sorry. Just know that one of my closest friends is the reason for my inspiration. No, you don't get a backstory either. Sorry~

~x~

Silently, Elie slipped out into the night, casting the person she was leaving one long look. It would make her heart race every time she saw his face, she knew. Not that it was a surprise, of course; he _had_ been dead for a year. Elie hadn't remembered him until after the others had established that he was alive again, but the shock had set in pretty deep.

The brunette sighed softly and closed the door behind her, leaving the house and off into the woods. Whenever she was unable to sleep, she had gotten up to take a walk. It was a habit of hers that had developed while they were still on their journey. Only this time, she Elie wasn't going to the Star Vestige, or a beautiful spring inside of a mountain. This time, she was going to the beach.

When she reached it, she sat down on the sand, her feet just barely touching the line where the waves were washing onto the shore. With her legs pulled up to her chest, she stared resolutely out into the ocean, trying to block out any thought.

_You killed him._

The thought came hard and fast, impossible to ignore. Elie's eyes widened, and she stayed silent, both in thoughts and voice. She wasn't going to give it the satisfaction of an answer.

_You love him, but you killed him._

"I didn't want to!" cried the girl softly, unable to stop herself. This was not the first time she had had these thoughts, nor was it the first time she had actually answered it out loud. It only ever came to her when she was completely alone, and usually vanished whenever someone came near her.

_Then why did you? It's your fault he was stuck in limbo for a _year. _And what did you do during that year?_

Elie clamped her mouth shut, trying to block it out. She knew where this was going. These thoughts had come before, each time causing a flood of tears Elie knew she wasn't going to be able to stop.

_You spent the year at a school, laughing and joking around. And not only that, you _forgot_ him. Haru Glory, the one you love. And you forgot. You killed him and then forgot about him._

Before she could stop them, tears were falling from her eyes at alarming speed. "I k-know," she gasped out, closing her eyes tightly. "I-I know…I'm so s-sorry…" she breathed out, all cares about how crazy she must look drifting out of her head. It was right. She had killed him. Killed him, and then forgot about him.

_You don't deserve to be with him. He deserves better than you, you murderer. Someone adorable, like Seria, or maybe –_

"I'm sorry," gasped out Elie again, the tears closing her throat. She repeated the apology at least four more times before realizing that the idiotic voice never stopped just because she spoke. It continued on for a quite a while, tormenting her as much as humanly possible.

So, if it was suddenly allowing her to speak and being silent, then that meant…

"Elie?"

With reflexes she had also developed on their journey, Elie jumped up and swiveled around. Brown eyes wide with surprise, tears still cascading down from them. "H-Haru!" she exclaimed, her heart racing. He was dressed in his pajamas, standing about three feet away, surprise lining his features. The two stared at one another for an unending second before Elie realized that she was still crying. Immediately, her hands went up and wiped away the tears on her cheeks, only to have more flow down.

When she glanced back up, Haru had closed the distance and wrapped his strong arms around her. "It's alright, Elie," he breathed against her hair, his voice slightly shaky, "I'm right here."

With a choked sob, Elie nodded, grabbing onto his shirt and allowing herself to cry. Haru whispered what he hoped were soothing words into her ear, but Elie paid no attention to them. The only words she heard were the ones that she had thought of earlier, echoing around her head, deafening.

"I'm sorry," she croaked again, sniffling. Haru froze for a second, pulling away to look at her. "I'm so sorry, Haru." His eyes widened as they tried to imagine why she would possibly be apologizing. "I…I killed you. I killed you, and then I forgot about it…I'm so, _so_ sorry."

Understanding crept into his features, and he wiped away from her tears. "It doesn't matter," he whispered softly, wiping away more as they fell. "You wouldn't have done it if I hadn't told you to," the retired Rave master told her comfortingly, stroking her hair gently.

Elie shook her head. "It…it _does_ matter, Haru," she told him brokenly. His eyes widened again, and she pulled away from him, taking a few steps and staring towards the ocean. "I _killed_ you. And then, instead of mourning what I had done, I completely forgot about you!" she said, anger and disgust for herself welling up in her body, "It's all my fault that you were stuck in that limbo. And then, when you had miraculously reappeared, I thought it would be perfectly fine to just skip off happily with you. I was wrong, Haru, I was _wrong_!"

Neither one spoke for several minutes, the silence broken only by Elie's sobs. "How were you wrong?" whispered Haru finally, not having moved closer to her.

Elie sniffled again. "I don't deserve to be here, with you. After everything, I hardly deserve to remember you, let alone live with you," she said softly, all the anger and disgust leaving her voice. Instead, it was replaced by a deep sadness.

"That isn't true," Haru said immediately, his voice louder than hers. "Elie, that isn't true, and you know it," he tried again, stepping forward and wrapping his arm around her middle, placing his head on her chin.

The brunette shook her head again. "I'm a murderer," she finally said, more tears falling from her eyes. Haru sighed, and released her, walking around and staring straight down, into her eyes.

"No, Elie, you aren't a murderer. And, you didn't kill me. You killed Endless, not me. The only reason I was in that limbo is because I was in Endless. But, I wasn't dead. If I had been dead, I wouldn't have been able to hear bits and pieces of your guys' lives," he said firmly, smiling slightly, "And even if you were some kind of murderer, even if you had killed me on purpose, I wouldn't blame you. I could never blame you, Elie, not when it isn't your fault."

The brunette considered this, not answering him. He sighed, guessing correctly that she was still miles away from believing him. "You're so stubborn, you know that, right?" he asked, chuckling softly, "Elie, listen to me. People make mistakes. Big…_huge_ mistakes! For some people, it's that they married the wrong person, or ate something they didn't know they were allergic to, or believed that good was evil and evil was good. Yeah, I was dead. But, you know what? I'm not dead anymore. I'm not hurt. Belnika, Let, Musica, Shuda, Julia, Niebel, Ruby, Griff, and Bony? They're not hurt either. Not because of what happened last year. No one's hurt.

"No one…no one, but you."

At those last six words, Elie gasped, her eyes widening quickly. He was right. No one had blamed her. No one hated her because of what she had done…because of that one, huge mistake. They could have, she knew. That whole year, they could have easily left her to die somewhere.

But they didn't.

"Elie, if you let yourself sit here and blame yourself, you're gonna let the guilt consume you when it doesn't have a real reason to! You'll start this domino effect of guilt, and then you'll spend your whole life searching for some sort of atonement when…when you already have it," Haru continued, grabbing her shoulders and bending down to her eye level. "What you did…? Elie, I forgive you. Everyone forgives you. Don't let this take control of your life, please. For me."

Instead of answering, Elie buried her head against his chest, gripping his shirt tightly. Haru wrapped his arms around her comfortingly, stroking her hair gently. "I…" she started to say, stopping. Haru had tensed slightly, as if he was bracing himself for another apology. Elie smiled against his chest, knowing he wouldn't be able to see it. "I know. I know, Haru," she finally said, the tears finally stopping, "I…I can't let this take control of my life. It isn't like me."

Haru sighed in relief. "I'm glad you understand, Elie," he said softly, pulling away to grin at her, "Will you promise me something?"

The brunette stared into those purple eyes, marveling at the color as she had so many times in the past. Promises were one of the most important things to Haru, so him asking her to promise something wasn't anything to take lightly. "Of course," she said softly, smiling at him.

"Promise me that, no matter what happens, you'll never leave my side. No matter what happens, whether we live a normal life here on Garage Island, or if Sinclair somehow managed to survive and we have to go and kill it all over it…no matter what happens, you'll always be right there with me."

Elie blinked, her mouth opening slightly. "Haru…I'll never leave your side. Never again," she breathed, caressing his cheek softly, "I promise."

Once those last two words were said, Haru leaned down and kissed her full on the lips, pulling her against his muscled body gently. The brunette accepted the kiss, kissing him back just as passionately.

~x~

Author's Note: Aw. (: Well, I hoped you liked this one. I wrote it in literally, less than an hour right after I woke up. xD Again, there is a good reason I had to write this, but, again, I'm not gonna share it.  
It just needed to be written.  
(:


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